Mysteries of the room

Just lying here contemplating this hotel room. It's very clean, but very small, distinctly 3 or 4 star. It doesn't have a wardrobe, just two hooks on the wall with hangers dangling off! Sound primitive? Check this. I have 24-hour broadband internet access for free with a flat LCD monitor and keyboard a metre from the bed. There's a DVD player with full 5-channel surround sound, front rear, centre speakers the works, all set up (haven't seen either of these luxuries in 5-star hotels). But no wardrobe. Go figure. Oh, and there's an escape rope, behind glass.